F.A.S.T. Talk Builds Trust
"Authentic"-
Part 3 of 5
Now we're on to the second quality of F.A.S.T.
Talk- Authentic. Authentic focuses on being honest, genuine, and trustworthy.
Think for a moment. Who are two people in your life that live in an authentic
way? Now try this question. Who are two people in your life who would say that
YOU live in an authentic way?
Years ago when our daughter was three and our son
was five, Breanne hurt herself and went crying to Reid for a hug. Arms
outstretched, she reached for him and I saw Reid wrap his arms around her. Oh
yes, it was a moment. Just as I was feeling a real kinship to the "Walton
Family", I noticed Reid's hands in Breanne's pockets. "Reid, what are you
doing?" "I'm checking her pockets for money." Hmmm, we had a five year old
double agent. But then a couple of questions struck me. How often are we double
agents in our lives? How often do act one way while thinking quite another?
A few weeks ago, I asked nine people to define
specific behaviors that build authenticity. Here are responses that were
provided:
- Follow through- you can count on a
person doing what he/she says
- Keep confidences- knowing
that "loose lips sink ships"
- Tell the truth even when it doesn't
seem advantageous to your position
- Choose to respect, affirm,
and encourage others
- Listen carefully
- Refuse to engage in communication
that hurts relationships
- Ask for forgiveness when needed
- Give forgiveness when needed
Darlene Mann, a partner in a venture
capital firm in CA, talks about the issue of being real and of being
honest. Her firm has supported dozens of startup high tech companies.
All of them want to grow; all of them are ambitious. Mann asserts that
they can hold on to their ambitious dreams, but they need to ensure that
promises made to the outside world are believable to their own people.
Otherwise, they create a foundation of cynicism and mistrust, a weak
basis for leadership and longevity. Mann goes on to say that those who
stay true to their word and live a value of honesty communicate that
they are authentic, trustworthy people. Their authenticity builds a cord
of loyalty with their customers and employees that is not easily broken.
So, what are strategies for building
this authenticity?
Here is one. Get to know yourself. Dig a
little deeper than your first name and your salary. Who are you? What is
important to you? What are the values and beliefs that you hold dear?
How do you respect the values and beliefs that others hold dear? Your
answers are important for giving you information that guides
authenticity, that encourages you to share yourself with others, and
that helps you get comfortable in your own skin. Jazz musician, Charlie
Parker says it well. "If you don't live it, it won't come out of your
horn."
A way to discover more about yourself is
through an exercise that we named
"Your Personal Value Package". Clients have valued its worth as they
seek focus for their goals and relationships.* Eight statements to
consider for your Personal Value Package include:
- My specific value as a person
(leader) is...
- Values important to me are...
- Specific talents and skills that I
have include...
- My heart guides me in these ways...
- Others tell me the following about
my personality...
- Experiences that have been
important to me include...
- Mistakes that I have learned from
include...
- Wisdom that I am applying
consistently...
My experience in working with several
thousand people over the years is this: As you understand and
appreciate your own value, you are better able to see and honor the
value of others. As you authentically honor others and their value, they
are better able to appreciate you and your value. It's a bit of the
circle of life that we heard about in Lion King - only on a higher and
higher plane.
A second strategy specific strategy that
builds authenticity is to reflect on meaningful questions that
contribute strength to your chosen work and how you work with others.
Here are seven questions to get you started:
- On what essential truths and
beliefs does my organization have unity?
- What specific
knowledge/skills/interests can I contribute to the public
perception/growth/financial health of this company?
- What am I doing that blocks how we
work together in this organization?
- What new habits do we need to build
to work more effectively together?
- For the health of our company, to
what extent do we need to strengthen current relationships, build
collaborative relationships, and/or enhance critical relationship?
- What is my best contribution to
this company in terms of my time, energy, and creativity?
- What current experiences show a
leap of faith rather than an avoidance of fear?
As we consider the courage that we need
for developing greater truth and trust in our lives for authentic
living, the simple brilliance of Gandhi is a reminder to many of us. "We
must be the change we wish to see in the world."
By Susan B. Wilson,
President, Executive Strategies
©
Executive Strategies
(269) 408-1525
www.execstrategies.com
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