F.A.S.T. Talk Influences

"Words are sacred. They deserve respect. If you can get the right ones, in the right order, you can nudge the world a little." --Tom Stoppard

It was 8:30 a.m. on a December day in Rockdale, Texas. Nine men, six from the United Steelworker's Union and three from management, were eyeing each other as the group prepared to work together. There was deep distrust and suspicion on both sides- deep, historical distrust.

Our goal focused on identifying strategies to improve safety at a coal mine owned by an aluminum company. Major safety challenges had introduced a very real concern of closing the mine and losing100 jobs.

We worked for two hours before taking a break at 10:30. By then, our specific objectives were identified, guidelines for working together were established and discussion was underway. During the break, the business agent asked to meet with me privately.

Broad shouldered, dressed in jeans, and spitting tobacco into a soda can, he drew himself up to his 6'7" height, looked down (way down) on me and drawled. "I don't know you, I don't like you, and I don't want you here."

Keeping eye contact with him, I allowed those words to settle in between us and then asked. "Mark, is that all you need to say to me right now?"

"Yep," he answered.

Never breaking eye contact, I said, "Okay, I hear you. I understand you. Let's go back in the room and see what we can accomplish."

In that brief exchange, there was the opportunity to use F.A.S.T. talk. In that brief exchange, F.A.S.T. talk planted a mustard seed of trust. In that brief exchange, the communication was Fair, Authentic, Shared, and True. Defensiveness, emotional reaction, and false hope were avoided. Honest thoughts spoken in a collaborative and respectful manner planted a small seed of real hope for our next hour of working together.

Influencing others doesn't have to be complicated. We want easier, helpful, and guaranteed ways of achieving meaningful results. A story about NASA illustrates the value of simplicity. Back in the 60's, NASA was faced with a problem. Astronauts needed something to write with in the vacuum of space. NASA engineers rolled up their sleeves and went to work. At a cost of $1.5 million, they invented the Astronaut Pen.

The Russians faced the same problem; they decided to use a Pencil. It was a simpler solution that was easier, helpful and guaranteed to solve the problem.

F.A.S.T. talk, communication that is Fair, Authentic, Shared, and True, is communication that builds trust, solves conflict and increases your positive influence. The five articles in this series provide specific tools to influence the relationships you already enjoy as well as strengthen the more challenging ones.

Experience over the years has turned the following opinion into a piece of truth. People will not share their intellectual best unless they first trust me. Others will not share their intellectual best with you unless they first trust you. Indira Gandhi said, "You can't shake hands with a clenched fist." Her words emphasize the importance of communication that draws others towards us. Then we more effectively lead and influence others.

F.A.S.T. talk builds the trust that builds your influence. F.A.S.T. talk is about us and the way we learn to trust each other for real results. F.A.S.T. talk is an investment in an emotional connection that matters.

In our second segment, we'll consider the quality of Fair communication, the first element of F.A.S.T. Talk. Until then, reflect on these words about influence from Edwin McManus (pastor of Mosaic church in Los Angeles): "We must never underestimate the importance of one moment, one word, one deed in the life of another human being".

What you think, what you say, and what you do, matters.

By Susan B. Wilson, President, Executive Strategies