F.A.S.T. Talk Speaks the Truth
Part 5 of 5
"The greatest homage we can pay to truth is
to use it."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
The 4th quality of F.A.S.T. talk is that it be
True. Thinking the truth and speaking the truth seems to be a touchy topic for
many, so I looked up the definition of true. Genuine, correct, honest, and in
accordance with fact were just a few of the definitions. Acceptance with reality
was another definition; and it was one that grabbed my attention. How one person
sees reality can be dramatically different than the way another person views it.
Consider this. An interoffice softball game was held every year between the
marketing and support staff of a company. One year, the support staff whipped
the marketing department soundly. This was the posted memo on the bulletin board
the next morning following the annual game:
"The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 2003 Softball
Season, we came in second place, having lost only one game all year. The Support
Department had a rather dismal season- they won only one game".
Our perceptions and assumptions may cloud how we see the truth.
There is a popular exercise that I do with groups so that they can experience
this point. Fifteen volunteers come up to the stage. They are divided and lined
up in three groups of five. Pairs of chopsticks are handed out with a balloon
that is blown up and tied off at the end. Participants are asked to move as
quickly as they can to an endpoint and then return to their group to pass the
balloon to the next person in line. The exercise is complete when all of the
people in each group have run with the balloon to return to their place in line.
Then I ask four questions that have always received multiple hands up in
response. The questions are:
- How many assumed that the first person in the line was the automatic leader?
- How many assumed that only the 1st person in line was allowed to blow up the
balloon?
- How many assumed that if a balloon was dropped, only the one who dropped it was
allowed to pick it up?
- How many assumed that this was a competition?
At no time in my instructions do I place the restrictions that are mentioned in
those questions. Nearly always, the whole group jumps to the assumption that the
exercise is a competition. And that assumption alone nearly always creates
divisiveness, negative language and a frantic pace during the event.
The learning is in the acknowledgement that we so quickly assume rules,
regulations and competition. And our assumptions may create significant
obstacles to working together in a fair and truthful way for the greater goal
that benefits all of us.
It strikes me that there is wisdom in taking care of our speaking as well as our
listening. To speak more truthfully, we need to choose accurate, clear language.
To hear more truthfully, we need to ask questions for clarity. To understand
more truthfully, we need to avoid assumptions and generalizations.
A few years ago, a magazine ran a Dilbert quotes contest. The contest was
seeking real life Pieces of Stupidsm that create confusion and mistrust. These
quotes came from real situations in businesses and made the finalists.
Submitted by an employee at a telecommunications company- "We know that
communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with
employees."
Submitted by an employee at a shipping company-
"What I need is a list of
specific unknown problems that we will encounter."
From an employee at a computer company-
"As of tomorrow, employees will only be
able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be
taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
These are Pieces of Truthsm that bear repetition. To speak more truthfully, we
need to choose accurate, clear language. To hear more truthfully, we need to ask
questions for clarity. To understand more truthfully, we need to avoid
assumptions and generalizations.
F.A.S.T. Talk is uncompromising communication that is Fair, Authentic, Shared,
and True. These four qualities build trust, solve conflict and increase your
positive influence- positive influence that is your leadership.
By Susan B. Wilson,
President, Executive Strategies
©
Executive Strategies
(269) 408-1525
www.execstrategies.com
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