GOMO!^®
To Get Over it; Move On!

"You don’t get ulcers from what you eat; you get ulcers from what’s eating you." That’s a powerful insight, isn’t it? Another term for what’s eating you could be worry or stress that is harmful, stress that is actually distress – to the body, mind, and spirit.

How many of us believe that we are over stressed? According to Dr. Archibald Hart, author of The Anxiety Cure, anxiety is currently the #1 emotional problem of American people. Anxiety is the #1 mental health problem for women in the U.S. and for men, it’s second only to substance abuse.

One definition of worry comes from Dr. Archibald who says that worry is a chain of negative and somewhat uncontrollable thoughts and images. Do you battle worry and frustration? Before you say, "nope, not me," consider these aggravations and annoyances that might put a chain of negative and somewhat uncontrollable thoughts and images in motion:

• The driver in front of you who hasn’t turned off his turning signal.

• 7 putts on a hole that only deserves two.

• Forgetting a meeting that’s been on your calendar for 3 weeks.

• A friend who forgets to pick up your child for soccer practice…for the third time.

• Airport security lines that are so long you miss your flight.

When we hold on to our chain of negative and unresolved thoughts, our thinking often leads to: migraine headaches, arthritis, backaches, ulcers, depression and digestive disorders, to name just a few. Add to that list the mental fatigue of restless nights and anxious days. We get a glimpse of the havoc that stress and worry plays in destroying the quality of our lives.

A speaker, when illustrating stress to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?" He received a variety of responses. Then the speaker gave this revealing information. "The absolute weight doesn’t matter. What’s significant is how long you hold the glass. If you hold it for a minute, that’s no big deal. If you hold it for an hour, you’ll have an ache in your arm. If you hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, the glass is the same weight, but the longer it is held, the heavier it becomes to you."

And that’s the way it is with worry and frustration. If we carry our stresses with us day in and day out, whether a petty grievance or a deeper pain, the burden becomes increasingly heavy. Eventually, the stress overcomes us.

Now, here’s another thought. If I’m holding on to a piece of worry and frustration that I don’t need to hold on to, would you be willing to call that a "Piece of Stupid"? While none of us are stupid, we may have moments of experiencing Pieces of Stupid^sm. Pieces of Stupid^sm. often happen as a result of careless thought, careless speech and careless actions. Some are harmless, and can even be funny stories. One of my favorites is from a friend who shared this one: She was out to dinner with her family. While waiting to be served, my friend was toying with a tent card on the table proclaiming a "Cinco de Mayo" celebration. Initiating conversation, she turned to husband and reflected, “I wonder when Cinco de Mayo is?" Now, this friend is actually one of the smartest, most talented women I know which just proves that moments of "Pieces of Stupid" can come from any of us!

However, some "Pieces of Stupid" can actually block our emotional and mental well being. So in this issue, we’re introducing the concept of GOMO!^® and asking you to consider one or two frequent grievances that you need to get over. Start thinking about the source(s) of your worry and frustration in more specific terms.

Here are the GOMO!® Basics to jumpstart your thinking:

Get connected… what are your feelings about your "it"?

Own your it….what are the facts around your "it"?

Make your decision….are you willing to release your "it"?

Opt for action….Let it go!

! Replace the space….Move On with a Piece of Strength

GET YOUR LIST OF "OVER ITS"

We’re going to share just one more thing in closing simply because we think you’ll get a chuckle as well as feel some camaraderie to the "its".

We asked twenty-five people for their daily "its" for Get Over it – annoyances and petty aggravations that they want to release so they can move on to more positive thinking and action. WOW! The ideas really came flying in. Which do you relate to?

Get over expecting someone else to do it. Get over using the phrase "But we’ve never done it this way before". Get over putting up roadblocks to new ideas and suggestions. Get over waiting for perfect conditions. Get over not accepting change. Get over moving so slowly. Get over over-committing yourself. Get over behaving like many separate parts instead of one organization. Get over not listening to other’s ideas. Get over being inflexible. Get over a lack of accountability for your actions. Get over being unwilling to work with the ideas of newcomers. Get over a lack of collaboration with others. Get over not doing what you say you are going to do. Get over forgetting to thank others for their contributions. Get over being disorganized. Get over being a poor listener. Get over being indecisive. Get over being unable to handle constructive criticism. Get over being on the defensive. Get over blaming others for my lack of follow through. Get over taking responsibility for the positive things but not the negatives. Get over telling less than the truth. Get over taking things personally. Get over not being able to say "No". Get over being impatient. Get over being stressed out. Get over losing your patience. Get over judging people. Get over procrastinating. Get over taking on too many responsibilities. Get over being lazy. Get over a less than ideal childhood. Get over being less attractive than you think you should be. Get over feeling slighted by a friend forgetting a special event in your life. Get over what your spouse has said, not said, done, not done, whatever. Get over feeling ignored by someone you care about. Get over someone not returning your phone calls or e-mails. Get over broken promises. Get over critical comments from your mother-in-law. Get over lousy customer service. Get over the aggravation of airport security. Get over losing a customer. Get over needing to be appreciated. Get over rudeness and lousy telephone manners of a friend's children. Get over fear of the dark. Get over the fear of depression. Get over the focus on my handicap. Get over not getting the job. Get over someone letting you down. Get over your kids not doing what you told them to do. Get over forgetting that one needed item at the grocery store. Get over feeling guilty about a past offense. Get over being easily offended. Get over needing others. Get over the petty things. Get over your mistakes. Get over feeling rejected. Get over stupid drivers. Get over others not living up to my expectations. Get over my bangs that were cut too short. Get over aging. Get over cellulite. Get over obsessing over bad habits. Get over things not being put in their "right" drawers. Get over thinking everyone needs to like you. Get over the thoughtless comment made by someone. Get over your kids not making their beds – again. Get over the dishwasher not being emptied – again. Get over thinking it's all about you. Get over what your parents did to you. Get over what your parents didn't do for you. Get over past failures. Get over ways others have hurt and/or disappointed you. Get over yourself. Get over rejection. Get over things not going your way. Get over holding grudges. Get over spreading gossip. Get over the computer crash (and you haven’t backed up your files for a while). Get over accidentally deleting pictures on your digital camera. Get over pride. Get over the high price of gas!

Remember, to visit our blog - GOMObuddies for more GOMO!^® insights and strategies.

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." --Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121 AD - 180 AD)

"If you are distressed, the choice for keeping or releasing the pain is yours. Choose to choose!"--Susan B. Wilson

By Susan B. Wilson, President, Executive Strategies