Move On With GOMO!^®

In the article, Step Up to GOMO!^® we reviewed the first four of GOMO!^'s (Get Over it; Move On!) five steps. The first four steps provide simple and specific strategies for Getting Over the "its" that block richer living. Daily annoyances, petty grievances, long standing grudges, and pent up anger all can be helped by the GOMO!^® way.

Here is a review of the GOMO!^® steps. However, this month, the fifth step receives our fullest attention:

1. Get connected… what are your feelings about your "it"?

2. Own your it….what are the facts around your "it"?

3. Make your decision….are you willing to release your "it"?

4. Opt for action….Let it go!

5. ! Replace the space….Move On with a Piece of Power

The final step of GOMO!® which is represented by the "!," stands for Replace the Space. Once we release our "it" that has been an obstacle, we have “space” for more powerful choices.

  "…mastering yourself is true power". --Tao Te Ching

The "!" is a cue to move on with a piece of power.

A piece of power- what is that?

A piece of power is the choice to make something better. A piece of power is focusing on what is right rather than what is wrong. A piece of power is a way of thinking that leads to greater personal strength. A piece of power is any communication or action that strengthens relationship and/or the achievement of goals.

When we choose to release the dark "its" in our lives, we have an opportunity to "replace the space" with something more powerful. That piece of power can be defined a number of ways—as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control—there are dozens of examples.

Here are three examples to share the concept; look for the pieces of power.

1. Larry Spencer is an Iowan and former Naval aviator whose jet was shot out from under him over North Vietnam in 1966. Larry spent nearly 7 years as a prisoner of war. Having endured long term stress, horrid pain, and abject fear, he says, "I have learned that there are darned few things worth going to war over… and I’m not talking politics. I’m talking about dealing with people in our every day lives. A difference of opinion with a friend or co-worker isn’t the end of the world. Make accommodations. Things we get so wrapped up in aren’t that big of a deal."
   
   Mr. Spencer’s piece of power is an acknowledgement that flexibility and acceptance add to the health of relationships; and he also enjoys greater peace in relationships.
    

2. Janet Hawkins was a hostess who invited dinner guests into her Durham, N.C. home for a southern supper one evening.
   
   There were eight of us enjoying a meal of Eastern North Carolina barbecue (someone reading this knows the importance of that description!), slaw, potatoes, and hushpuppies. A friend was sitting at one end of the table and Fred, Janet’s husband, was seated at the other end. At one point, Fred asked Sandy to pass the hushpuppies which were in a bread basket in front of her. Sandy grinned, reached in the basket, pulled out a hushpuppy, and tossed it—over the candles, over the flower arrangement, and across the length of the table. The rest of us paused in suspended silence as we watched the traveling hushpuppy. We knew that the two yard toss was not part of Southern dinner decorum. Only a couple of seconds could have passed before Janet picked up a hushpuppy from her plate and threw it across the table to Fred.
   
   Janet’s piece of power of power was her quick action to save Sandy from embarrassment and to keep her feeling a part of the family group. It also was a concrete example of Janet’s compassion.
    

3. A radio station shared this story about a principal who was faced with a unique problem that had become a daily frustration. According to the story, a number of girls from a middle school in Delaware were beginning to use lipstick. They gave themselves daily practice by applying it in the middle school bathroom. Then, after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints which made cleaning the mirrors more difficult for the custodial staff.
   
   The principal decided to take action. She called the girls in to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that their lip prints were adding to the difficulty of the cleaning of the mirrors each night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.
   
   There were no more problems with lipstick prints on the mirror.
   
   The principal’s piece of power was addressing a conflict in a way that had obvious benefit to each of the parties involved as well as strengthening the clarity of her thinking and making a plan for a positive result.

Remember, a piece of power is any communication or action that strengthens relationship and/or the achievement of goals.

Mr. Spencer, Janet Hawkins, and the middle school principal each thought through action that added to their personal value as well as to the treatment of others.

Before we close this three article series on GOMO!^®, let’s consider few more pieces of strength that can help you move on with GOMO!^®. Consider specific actions that you can take to replace negative thinking- stress, worry, frustration, annoyances—with real power, true power that builds your relationships and influence.

Take 2 minutes brainstorm some specific ideas. Here are seven to get you started:

1. Avoid jumping to conclusions.

2. Say thank you more often.

3. Be more aware of the beauty and comfort that surrounds you…and appreciate it.

4. Let go of worry about issues out of your control.

5. Listen with greater care and attention.

6. Take the initiative to extend a kindness.

7. Think on behalf of someone else without expecting anything in return.

You read half of Tao Te Ching’s quote earlier in this article. Let’s consider the fullness of his whole quote. "Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power." GOMO!^® is a rich opportunity to master your inner power to influence others with real strength. Release what is not useful to you, and embrace the power that matters.

Ready for a Mini-*Coaching Session?!

Here are seventeen more valuable strategies that are guaranteed to make a difference in how others perceive your competence and confidence. If you choose to change your habits to incorporate these ideas, you will see big and joyful changes in your relationships and ability to achieve your goals.

Pieces of Power to "Replace the Space" Right Now!

1. Establish a set of core values. Know what is most important to you.

2. Face up to situations, even painful ones.

3. Avoid focusing on problems. Solve them or turn them into opportunities.

4. You made a mistake? Focus on what you can learn from it, and move on.

5. Conduct a quarterly performance review – on yourself!

6. Strive for high standards, but don’t try to be perfect.

7. Allow others to do for you.

8. Accept praise gracefully.

9. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

10. Strive to be consistently open and honest in your communication.

11. When you make a commitment, follow up and follow through, even when it is difficult.

12. Write thank you notes.

13. Be the first to extent a word or a handshake of welcome.

14. Smile.

15. If you present a problem, take the time to identify at least one solution, and more if possible.

16. When a misunderstanding occurs between you and another person, shoulder your share of the blame.

17. Use people’s names.

*Feel free to call (269) 408-1525 or e-mail susan@execstrategies.com if you would like more information or proof J about any of the above ideas!

By Susan B. Wilson, President, Executive Strategies