Rutgers, Imus & GOMO!^®

I’m fascinated by the Rutgers and “what’s his name” uproar. All kinds of people are weighing with opinions and points of view.

In my fascination (and perhaps, frustration!), I’ve decided to weigh in with a few thoughts too.

1. I’m remembering the quote, “There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary” (Brendan Behan). And I’ve heard more than one publicist say, “there is no bad publicity”, so let’s stop giving “what’s his name” the gift of publicity……….now!
    

2. Like thousands upon thousands, I despise the ugly words that he uttered. However those ugly words expressed a lie, not a piece of truth. Those words were a lie about talented, strong, and dedicated young women. Avoid giving his ugly lie such significant importance by the time and the energy dedicated to it. Instead, turn the focus to what is valuable truth.
    

3. Even more than hating “what’s his name’s words”, I’m hating the fact that the Rutgers players are allowing his insult to be absorbed with responses of pain and humiliation as indicated by some of their quotes. “I think that this has scarred me for life,” related Matee Ajavon, a junior and center for the team. Heather Zurich, a sophomore forward, said the team's "moment was taken away" by Im--, whoops, I mean “what’s his name”. She goes on to say, “This week and last, we should have been celebrating our accomplishments the past season. All of our accomplishments were lost ... we were stripped of this moment by the degrading comments made."
   
   No. Absolutely not. Untrue. No way.
   
   Unless any of these young women choose to be a victim to a shock jock who has no established credibility in the sports world and who consistently uses his speech to hurt and maim with false and foul language.
   
   Each young woman on the team can make a different decision. Kia Vaughn, a sophomore center, did. She says, "Unless they've given 'ho' a whole new definition, that's not what I am". And she’s absolutely right. The idiotic and false statements of this man do not deserve one iota of credence, and we need to be careful that we don’t give him credibility with our responses. Each young woman can choose to turn away from the negativity. Instead, each young woman can decide to refocus on the power and the beauty of each team member, on their commitment to each other and to the team, and on their incredible season achievement- made possible by physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength. Now that deserves time and attention.
    

4. Rutgers team members deserve better. And they can remove themselves from the current fray of dissension on this issue. Something better for their hearts and heads and spirits can be found in Ephesians 6:10-16. In some detail, the verses say, “Put on the armor of God.”
   
   Players have had the counsel of Reverend DeForest Soaries (First Baptist Church of Lincoln Gardens in Somerset, NJ). I’m betting that he would agree that there is nothing more powerful than the armor of God to deflect the evil and selfishness of man and his incessant mouth.
    

5. This incident is one heck of an example for benefiting from the concept of GOMO!^® (Get Over it; Move On!). Last Friday, Coach Stringer expressed the reality of the team’s sorrow in the experience and then making a decision for forgiveness. She indicated that the team had accepted the apology of Mr. Imus. She said that he deserves a chance to move on and that she hopes for a positive change as an outcome from his racist and sexist insult. She went on to say that “we are in the process of forgiving”.
   
   Using different words, Coach Springer expressed the awareness that even the most initially painful issues require a GOMO!^® if there is a desire for emotional strength and emotional freedom. Holding on to hurt, anger, and bitterness binds us. GOMO!^® with forgiveness releases us. Instead of remaining victims to an ugly falsehood, the team has chosen the power of forgiveness which not only gives them their emotional freedom, but gives the gift of freedom to their “enemy” as well. Now they are prepared to “move on”.

Quotes that matter:

"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."-- Buddha.

"The nobler sort of man emphasizes the good qualities in others, and does not accentuate the bad. The inferior does the reverse."-- Confucius.

"We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love, and broods over us while we die. Our hate does not even have the decency to die when those we hate die -- for it is a parasite sucking OUR blood, not theirs. There is only one remedy for it [forgiveness]."- Lewis B. Smedes.

Is it time to give a “what’s his name” in your life a GOMO!^® ????

By Susan B. Wilson, President, Executive Strategies