Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

Thank you for taking a moment to reflect on the quiz statements. As you might guess, they give us "cause for pause" as each of us reflects on the scope of each statement. In preparing for this month’s article, I found a great quote:

"Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons."
--Ruth Ann Schabacker)

It’s a fabulous insight as we consider the first statement of the quiz.

1. Daily, dozens of situations and experiences are ripe for our gratitude, appreciation and thanks. Over the past few months, I’ve had a real desire to become more thankful and grateful. It had dawned on me that little things, petty things were leading to frustration and impatience on my part (not to mention what the big, bad stuff was doing to my mood at times!) In my early morning quiet time, I asked God to hold me more accountable to noticing what came my way as "gifts" whether expected or unexpected. And I wanted to be more aware of saying, "thank you". The result of that request has been miraculous. I’ve come to realize that more, far more good occurs than bad. It is a decision to be more aware and responsive.
   
   Dr. Robert Emmons, psychologist and expert on the study of gratitude, has conducted research on what I’ve now experienced. His research supports that thankfulness and gratitude is a decisive act. Deciding to be more grateful; deciding to be appreciative counteracts the tendency to feel entitled or deserving of good things. Letting go of entitlement means letting go of distress when things aren’t so rosy. Additionally, gratitude helps us get over temporary setbacks as we appreciate what we do have; and gratitude helps us "savor" more of the moments that are part of our daily good.
   
   As we turn to the second statement of the quiz, consider the truth embedded in one of Mother Teresa’s quotes, "There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread."
    

2. Most of the time, I am aware of and I take the time to feel and express my gratitude and appreciation. The following statistic bears repeating. In a 2002 Public Agenda survey, 48% of adults expressed only "sometimes" encountering people who made an effort to say "please" and "thank you"; 16% said they saw such behavior "practically never." ("Whatever Happened to Thank You Notes?", USA Today, 12/27/05). Are others waiting to hear from you for gratitude?
   
   Just a few years ago, I was leading a week long retreat with mid-level and senior managers of an Information Technology Department. As part of our program, each participant was given a gift bag with the invitation to write notes of encouragement and appreciation to each other through the week. To a person, the mostly male group thought it was a great idea. Three days later, I randomly took a peek inside of several gift bags. As I saw one note in one, two in another, and then none in most of the bags, I asked the group about their commitment to the idea. One of them sheepishly admitted, "I think it’s a great idea; I was waiting to get my notes. I wasn’t thinking about writing them." Others laughed as it became apparent that they were on the same wave length. Once they were reminded of the process, each was generous in their expression of appreciation to others in the group. In fact, the vice president later told me, "You could have heard a pin drop on the ride home. Everyone was digging into their bags to read and absorb the notes given to them by their peers."
    

3. I appreciate others in my life far more than I depreciate them. Would you be willing to keep a journal for three to five days to reflect on the number of times that you appreciate others rather than depreciate them? Appreciating others reflects your decision to notice and affirm their value; depreciating others reflects your decision to diminish their value whether by criticism, judgments, gossiping or neglect (to name just a few!)
   
   Bob Nelson, best selling author of 1001 Ways to Reward Your Employees, tells us that "people may take a job for more money, but they often leave it for more recognition." Can you think of friends or colleagues who have done just that?
   
   In dozens of programs, I have asked participants, "how do you want to be appreciated in your organization?" Repeatedly, I can count on three particular responses emerging, regardless of the number of ideas on their lists. "Say thank you", "listen to me", and "make me feel part of the team" are the responses that emerge time and time again. What we know is that sincere gratitude and appreciation builds bridges and overcomes barriers erected between two people.
   
   Here's a valuable action to take: Think of someone you work with who gets on your nerves. Now, make a decision to focus on what you can appreciate about that person. In the next 48 hours, find time to express your appreciation. This one act will enrich your life by opening you up to positive possibilities in the relationship.
    

4.  I know that I add value when I walk into a room. If you are a grateful person, then you know that you add value when you walk into a room. Your demeanor, your words, and your smile brighten the room whether it is filled with just one other person or a crowd of one hundred. Your ability to express gratitude, praise, encouragement and support raises the quality of your conversations. Here’s another opportunity to consider your habits. Do you more often walk into a room prepared to judge and criticize or to enjoy and appreciate? Though your looks, good manners, intelligence or humor may initially draw others to you, it will be your sincere appreciation of others that will build genuine relationships.
    

5. Others would name me as one of the most thankful, grateful people that they know. Many of us who watched the Olympic speed skating last week saw an example of this from Joey Cheek who won a gold medal in the 500 meter race. Shortly after his win, he announced that he would be donating his $25,000 prize money so that children in African refugee camps would have opportunities to learn and play sports. A quote from Joey expressed his feelings. “For me to walk away with a gold medal is amazing, and the best way to say thanks that I can think of is to help somebody else.” WOW! What a standard Joey Cheek sets for us. It’s not that each of us needs to donate $25,000, but do you have a powerful response to the question, "What kind of gratitude do others see in my daily actions?"

As you do some thinking, absorb a final quote from Seneca, an ancient Roman philosopher:

"Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.”

By Susan B. Wilson, President, Executive Strategies